March 2016, Police Department, Washington DC, United States.
Officer Brian Page "Sir, we have just received an urgent call from the Bank Of America, shots have been heard"
Sargent Randy Tucker "Right, get as many men and weapons as you can, and get down there straight away"
Officer Brian Page "Yes Sir"
Meanwhile inside the Bank of America, an armed man storms in and starts firing out randomly and demands to speak to the CEO "I want to speak with the person in charge right NOW!".
Receptionist "I will call him down at once sir". Armed man "Good, lets hope he gets here quick, I am hungry". Some time later, the CEO arrives at reception, and demands to know what is going on. The armed man says "YOU! you are responsible for the death of my father!". The CEO replied "Sorry sir, I do not understand?". The armed man said "My father was a good man, you gave him a loan of $50,000. When he could not pay it back fast enough because his company were going through hard times, what did you do?". The CEO responded "As per our company policy, we had no choice but to reign in the debt by sending in bailiffs and increasing the interest payments on the loan". The man said "Thats right, YOU took a giant bite out of him, you took a pound of flesh. He took his life because of you!". The CEO replied "We are truly sorry for the pain this has caused you". The gunman shouted "Right, but I am afraid an apology will not be enough. The punishment should always fit the crime". Then to the astonishment of everyone there, He then proceeded to take out a weapon, and started eating the CEOs face, leaving him disfigured for life. There were screams of horror outside the building.
The police arrived at that moment and told the young man to "get down on your knees and put your hands behind your back!"
They dragged him kicking and screaming to the police car.
Back at the police HQ, they asked him his name. "My name is Bwjyll Qrepk Peec". They asked him his age, he said "22".
The rest, as they say, is history....